Please contact me if you want to discuss me performing your wedding ceremony:
Rev. Andrea Andress
1165 Villita Loop
Las Cruces, New Mexico 88007
I am a retired United Methodist Clergy. I am open to performing weddings for individuals who love each other and want to covenant together in marriage.
Communication is a key element in staying together over time. Problems will come up. If you can’t express yourself in a way that the other understands, you will feel alone and unloved. Marriage is a lifelong work and times will occur when you are both in sync and other times when you seem to be drifting apart or even choosing different roads. Understanding who you are, what is important to you and to each other will help you in your commitment together.
The Enneagram is a tool to help you understand your habits and patterns, those you like about yourself and those you might want to change. It also opens you to tolerance of where another person is coming from. And importantly, it gives you paths of development in working through challenges and difficulties.
I utilize the Love Languages to help recognize ways you want to be loved by others but also reminds you how your significant others want to be loved. Most of us express love in ways we want to receive it. But if our lover doesn’t feel loved in the same way, we are mis-communicating.
We will also have conversations concerning finances-who knows (does) what, work allotment — who does what for the good of all, sexuality, children and goal expectations, hopes for 5, 10, 20 years down the road. I will also ask if you have a will in place and who the beneficiaries are. I will provide some worksheets dealing with these topics for the two of you to use together. They will bring out some issues for you to have a conversation with one another.
Ceremony: We will talk about what you want for the day of the wedding. I can send you a document that gives options for traditional weddings that you can indicate your preference. You may also write your own vows. Some elements you may not want to include and feel free to offer some new elements.
Basic elements of a ceremony include: Welcome to all, Intention of the Couple, 1st, 2nd vows (this is where children or family members would be included if desired. Then we go on to the ring presentation and vows, a small meditation can be given, you might want to include the lighting of a unity candle or mixing of sands. Then you kiss one another and we end with the presentation of the couple.
Travel and expenses: if applicable
Meetings before the Wedding:
- 1 & 2 – Meet with each individual for an Enneagram Interview (70 minutes each)
- 3 – Meet to discuss Enneagram and how they get along together and their Love Language. (60-75 minutes)
- 4 – Discussion on Finances, Hopes/Expectations of each other, Goals for Individual and the Family, details of the ceremony itself, and discussion of a Will. (I will give several worksheets for you to work together and then report back to me.) (60-75 minutes)
- Books: I will provide The Essential Enneagram by Dr. David Daniels for personality test. Also read, Love Languages by Gary Chapman (not provided by me) and take the Love Language test (provided by me).
- Fill out a questionnaire concerning the ceremony details. If you want a bulletin for the ceremony I can give you the order, but you are responsible for printing it.
- You will handle sending in the signed documents to the authorities.